He nods. "It's... been on my mind, too, Ari. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't concerned. Or even scared." He turns his gaze up to the sky. "You... are an amazing woman, Ari. Even when we first met, I thought you'd make an amazing woman someday. That you'd make someone very lucky. I never thought it would be me, at least not then."
"You deserve the very best, Arisia. The very best. Who I was before... well, I failed you. I don't know how much of what I did after we drifted apart was due to Parallax's influence, and how much was mine. It's impossible to tell. It's a game of what-if.
"And it's still what-if when I look into the future. What if I don't treat you the way you deserve to be treated? What if Parallax returns through one of us? What if you hurt me this time?" He shakes his head. "And there's doo damn much history to say that we can start from scratch. Because we can't."
Then he turns to look at her, and he holds her chin in her hand. "So there's fear there. But now I know how to handle fear. I look it in the eye... and I confront it."
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2005-09-18 04:25 am (UTC)"You deserve the very best, Arisia. The very best. Who I was before... well, I failed you. I don't know how much of what I did after we drifted apart was due to Parallax's influence, and how much was mine. It's impossible to tell. It's a game of what-if.
"And it's still what-if when I look into the future. What if I don't treat you the way you deserve to be treated? What if Parallax returns through one of us? What if you hurt me this time?" He shakes his head. "And there's doo damn much history to say that we can start from scratch. Because we can't."
Then he turns to look at her, and he holds her chin in her hand. "So there's fear there. But now I know how to handle fear. I look it in the eye... and I confront it."